Thursday, April 4, 2013

I Forgot What it was Like

It has now been three full days that I have spent "living" in my new city and one whole day "living" in my new temporary home, The Warehouse.  Last night was my first night.  I moved in my suitcase, two boxes of stuff - crafting stuff and "memory-hang-on-the-wall" stuff- and beggar to arrange my new room.  I have never longed for some Farmhouse stuff so much until it came to making my new temporary home comfortable.

I have forgotten what it is like to have restrictions on what you can hang on the wall, or the awkwardness of living with people who aren't your family.

This morning I woke up at 5:00am.  My normal routine at home would be...pee, brush teeth, put coffe cup in microwave for two minutes, smoke outside, come back to get coffee from microwave, sit down and star my quiet contemplative time.  This is a routine I have been following for worries.  Today, I worried about ech step in the routine.  Was I up too early for everyone else in the house?  Was the microwave too loud as it was warming my coffee?  If I open the door to go outside to smoke are they going to think someone is trying to break in?  Where ARE the kitchen lights anyhow?

I managed to accomplish my routine, but it was wrought with stress and tension as I wondered what the other roommates thought and how what I was doing might affect them.

After work tonight, when I returned "home", I knew I wanted to make an effort to bond a little, even though everything in me wanted to just go up to my room, close the door and do my own thing.

One of the roomies, Keith, was staring at the fish in his aquarium.  "What in God's name are you watching for when you look at those fish?" I asked.  It could have gone either way, but he took it the way I intended it and we had a really interesting conversation about fish.

We joined the other roomies in the kitchen, who were cooking dinner and had a pretty decent bonding experience.

Tomorrow when I wake up at 5:00am, I will not be so tense as I walk downstairs, turn on the kitchen lights and microwave my coffee before going outside to have my morning cigarette.

It is as I have known all along.  Time.  It takes time.



Julie said...

We have very similar routines ~ I'll now start my day thinking of you. We'll (in my mind) have that first smoke together.

Ms said...

Why do you microwave the coffee? Don't you make a fresh pot each day?